#hale-mccall pack

[itbeaheadcannon]

i've always just headcannoned that Stiles has keys, passkeys and codes to everyones stuff. you have a house key, car key, or something needing a code? Stiles has several copies on himself and hidden elsewhere.

like this dude has sticky fingers, and eyes everywhere. he's got the ability to get it into the sheriff's station, the school, hospital and vet. like if it's a mildly important place or is just slightly interesting, chances are high; he's got a key and code to get in

every time they try to change codes or keys, he has copies made a day later. no one is safe. no one.

people try to complain to the Sheriff, in the hopes he'll be able to stop him

he tells them all to suck it up.

while Stiles is the light of his life, he's also a feral gremlin,

the sheriff has been trying to keep him out of his stuff since he could walk

stiles also 100% has house and car keys to all of the pack

it drives argent insane that he can't keep him out

they've tried changing their stuff

it doesn't work

he also somehow got their passwords

(it wasn't hard, they're all stupid and have easy to guess passwords)

((besides Lydia and Danny))

[twpromptsillneverwrite]

Scott: Don't let your boyfriend Stiles distract you.

Derek: Stiles and I aren't dating.

Stiles: We aren't? Then what about the movie nights, the late night dinners, the amazing sex, the...

Derek: Wait, are we dating?

Isaac: Good thing you realized it cause you were about to miss your anniversary.

[nightlark100]

Stiles sets up a betting board rather early on, figuring it'll be something that might help the betas bond a bit. It started off with a few silly things but the main category quickly became 'what is going to try and kill us next'. The name was changed after Derek expressed concerns over how cavalier Stiles was about dying and instead became 'what is going to put us in danger next'. The rules were simple:

Each of them contributed to a pool.

Each beta was given the opportunity to change their pick after something tried to kill them or once a month (if things were quiet)

Winner got the contents of the pool

If there was no clear winner or if there was more than one and they didn't want to split it, pack could make an argument for why their pick was the closest.

Scott put down 'Peter betraying the pack'

Peter in retaliation put down 'Argents being Argents'

Both refused to change it.

Stiles put down 'Dereks love life'

Erica put down 'Stiles losing his mind in a haze of caffeine after too many sleepless nights researching'. Boyd silently added his name against that pick as well.

The problem was Stiles seemed to always get it right. No matter what he wrote down each time, it usually happened in some way.

Derek's love life - a barista he'd been tentatively flirting with at the coffee shop turned out to be a succubus

Extreme cold (mocked by the others for being written down in the middle of a heatwave)- an abominable snowman popped up and set off a cold spell that even werewolf heat and Isaac's scarves couldn't ward off

Scott's cooking - After breaking some of Melissa's kitchenware while trying to make a romantic meal for Allison (the exact details of how remain a mystery, although Isaac was involved) and replacing it with a new set from a cute little shop that seemingly popped up out of nowhere, the pack quickly found out that there was a poltergeist attached.

The only time he didn't put anything down, was when he got possessed. And Peter argued that he technically still got it right since the only thing in his section was his name... Which was accurate in its own way (Stiles was not pleased by this logic and refused to talk to anyone for a long time)

He began to get gradually weirder and weirder with his picks, not even really trying to win after a while. He was a little confused and concerned by his strange predictions and hoped that eventually it would get too absurd to possibly come true.

Musical theatre - a siren showed up and almost lured Isaac into the swimming pool with her voice.

Killer Tomatoes - Lydia ended up nearly choking on her salad

Hummus - Jackson managed to ingest poisoned hummus and became practically feral.

Puppies - Stiles woke up one day to a very stressed Derek with an armful of his now tiny canine betas. Stiles didn't mind that one so much.

[voidstilesplease]

POV: An outsider pack teaming up with Derek and Scott's pack against a common enemy and escaping by the skin of their teeth after an outrageous, inconceivable stunt pulled by Stiles.

Outsider Alpha: *in incredulous disbelief* Is this how you do things in Beacon Hills?

Stiles: You mean effectively?

Outsider Alpha:

Derek: Yeah, I won't think about it too much.

[headcanonthings]

[The pack at Disneyland, in the teacups] Lydia, Alison, Danny and Boyd: *talking and barley spinning* Stiles, Scott, Erica, and Isaac: *flying past them, spinning as fast as they can, screaming* Derek, Cora and Jackson: *standing outside the ride and pretending they don't know any of them*

[jade-bright]

Stiles, bursting into the Hale's home: I have a younger sibling!!!

The Hale's simultaneously: What? Claudia's pregnant!?! What!? Oh god. What. Grrr. Are you serious? What?!

Stiles, pulling out a 9 year old Scott from behind him: His name's Scott, he looks like a puppy and he's my little brother now

[falling-star-cygnus]

y'all i nEEd fic recs of the Hale Pack just- genuinely caring about Stiles

like- fics where they find out what Peter did to him in s1, how Mr. Harris treated him in s2, or like.. fics where he gets hurt and ofc keeps it to himself for the time being- bc there was something else goin or whatever- until one of them is just like:

'dude- wtf happened to you' 'oh yk just [insert the horrors]' '..and you waited 'til NOW to say something??'

it doesn't even need to be whump or angst tbh, i just wanna see them appreciate him 😭 -> cuz he honestly does a lot, i love when he gets protective and feral over the pack

[moonch8ld]

Stiles: I CAN'T DO IT!

Scott, laughing: I CAN'T EITHER!

Stiles: I CANT FUCKING DO IT ANYMORE

Peter: WELL I'LL TELL YOU WHAT, YOU CAN EITHER GIVE UP NOW, OR YOU CAN FIGURE IT OUT. BECAUSE WE CERTAINLY CAN'T DO IT WITHOUT YOU, AND WE KNOW YOU CAN'T DO IT WITHOUT US.

Stiles:

Stiles: I appreciate it,

Stiles: BUT LOOK WHAT WE'RE DEALING WITH-

Allison: Stiles-

Stiles: YOU GOTTA DRAW THE LINE SOMEWHERE!

Lydia: Stiles we gotta-

Stiles: YOU GOTTA DRAW A FUCKING LINE IN THE SAND. YOU GOTTA MAKE A STATEMENT.

Stiles: YOU GOTTA LOOK INSIDE YOURSELF AND SAY 'What am I willing to put up with today?'

Stiles, motioning to Derek, in his wolf form, high on wolfsbane: NOT FUCKING THIS

[sterekmpreg]

Stiles and Derek: *accidentally kissing during argument in front of the pack*

Peter and Scott:

Erica and Isaac:

Lydia and Allison:

Boyd and Theo:

[subpar-celestial]

Don't tell me of it's shit I'm tired and this is the first drawing I've completed in ages

[stereksthings]

what’s the best sterek fanfic you’ve ever read?

[twpromptsillneverwrite]

Scott: Okay, Stiles. You can do it.

Stiles: Hey, Derek! Do you wanna hang out? You know going on a date... With me. I mean, it's okay if you can't you're probably busy and...

Scott: No, no, no, this is not what we practiced.

Meanwhile

Boyd: Okay, one more time.

Derek: Stiles, we are going on a date so you better be ready when I pick you up!

Isaac: You can't force him!

Erica: That was hot.

Isaac: Don't encourage him!

[nightlark100]

The List

I had an idea for a silly fanfic about the teen wolf pack making a list of rules for their pack to follow but i never got beyond the list itself and a tiny bit of story. So i thought i'd post it here.

- - - - - - - - - - - -

It had started as a joke. After another brilliant Scott plan gone wrong, Stiles had scribbled 'SCOTT IS NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE PLANS' in big letters on a piece of paper which he then stuck beside the front door.

"This is ridiculous," Scott protested, moving to take it down. "My plans aren't that bad"

"Yes they are. And no touching the paper! That is an official document"

"What."

Derek, drawn by the discussion, hovered in the doorway to the living room.

"Stiles… what is that and why is it on my wall?"

"This is the official Hale pack list of rules. We must all abide by it."

Scott scoffed and looked to Derek, expecting the alpha to side with him. Instead, he just narrowed his eyes before nodding.

"Alright"

"What?! But… Derek!"

"Sorry Scott. It's on the official list of rules, we have to follow it. No more plan making for you"

Scott is not allowed to make plans

No one mentioned the list again for a while and when they did, it was in a teasing way whenever Scott tried to suggest something, whether that something was what they should do that weekend or how best to combat a flurry of pixies in the preserve. The reminder of the ‘no plans’ rule was met with a good natured groan and an eye roll from Scott but little else.

One day however, Stiles was brought out of his latest research binge by the lid of his laptop being sharply closed. He looked up, blinking a few time as his eyes adjusted to the room after hours of staring at the bright screen.

“What the hell?”

The rest of the pack was sitting nearby, having been occupied by their own activities, with Isaac hovering uncertainly beside Stiles’ chair with a sheepish look on his face.

“Isaac?” Stiles prompted.

“Sorry Stiles but you’ve been researching for a day straight.”

“And?”

“Well… i mean… it’s on the rules.”

“What rules?”

“The official pack rules. By the door.”

Their conversation had drawn the attention of the others, most looking confused. Stiles set his laptop aside and went to the door. There beneath his scrawl was a new addition. 

2. Stiles' laptop and phone must be taken away after 24 hours of continuous research.

“Who put that there?” he asked. The others stayed silent. Scott looked slightly smug but Stiles knew that wasn’t his writing. He let out an irritated noise and fished his phone from his pocket, intending to retreat to his room. If Isaac wouldn’t let him back on his laptop, he could still access his work that way.

Derek reached over and plucked the phone from his hand.

“Sorry Stiles. It’s on the list. You can have them back tomorrow.”

“Derek! Come on!”

He moved to grab at the phone but was struck with a wave of dizziness that sent him stumbling. Hands reached out to steady him, he wasn’t sure whose.

“Stiles, when did you last eat?” Lydia asked.

“Ermm… breakfast maybe?”

“Today?”

“No… yesterday…”

“Hmm. And drank something? That wasn’t full of sugar?”

“Errr…”

“Kitchen. You’re going to eat, drink some water and then you are going to get some sleep.” She guided him out of the hall with a firm hand, pushing him into a chair at the kitchen table while Isaac retrieved some leftovers from the fridge and filled their largest glass with water.

Both of them stayed in the kitchen with him until he was suitably fed and hydrated, then Lydia took him upstairs and put him to bed, giving him a dark look as she promised that if he got up to get one of his books instead of sleeping there would be consequences.

Stiles reluctantly obeyed.

He wouldn’t admit it but he did feel better the next morning. Until, as he headed downstairs, he noted a new line had been added to the paper by the door. 

3. Stiles must be made to eat something and drink water after 6 hours of continuous research

After the first few additions, it seemed that some kind of dam had been broken and the rest of the pack didn’t hesitate to implement their own rules (although no one would admit to putting the limits on Stiles’ research time)

4.  Newly turned betas are not allowed to partake in team sports until they have proven they can control themselves (e.g. no eye flashing, no claws, no fangs, no doing backflips over other players or any other feats of sudden athletic ability that may draw attention to the pack)

5.         All of Derek's dates must be vetted. THOROUGHLY

“That's it. I'm putting a ban on Derek dating” Stiles said, picking chunks of viscera out of his hair. “This is the third time! At this point it's just negligent of us not to investigate anyone inviting you out.” A thought occured and he spun around to face Derek. “oh my god. You're a Xander!”

“What?”

“A Xander! Right Peter?”

“I would have to agree. He does have Xander like qualities when it comes to dating.”

“Again I say… what?”

“Buffy the vampire slayer. Peter and I have been watching it together.”

“Really Peter?”

“It's good!”

“It has its moments”

“Yeah you're just mad cause they got rid of Ethan. Who is 100% you. Just in it for the chaos.”

“Would that make you the Giles?”

“No! Why?”

“Oh come on, they were definitely a couple.”

“If i’m anyone, i’m willow.”

“Wouldn’t Lydia be Willow?”

“No, Lydia is Cordelia.” he glanced around, fearing the redhead would appear and yell at him. “On the surface, superficial cheerleader type. But goes through a bunch of character development and has a power that sucks.”

“Flawless logic. Why are you Willow?”

“Magic. Bi. Brief fall to the dark side. And then Scott would be Xander,”

“I thought I was Xander?”

“No, you’re just Xander when it comes to dating. Scott’s Xander the rest of the type.”

“And I suppose Allison is Buffy?”

“Noooo… Allison is Faith. "

6. Peter and Stiles are not allowed to watch Mythbusters anymore 

“Really Derek?”

“Yes. Really. Last time you watched that show, you ended up building a trebuchet.”

“I believe it was just Stiles who built the trebuchet.”

“Yes but you helped load it.”

7. No Sex in the common areas! Erica this means you! (poor Isaac)

8. When offered a boon by a faerie BE SPECIFIC

9. Stiles is not to be left unattended in the vet clinic

10. Stiles is not to be left unattended around witches

11. Stiles is not to be left unattended around magic users

12. Stiles is not to be left unattended

13.  Lydia and Peter are not to be left alone in a room together.

14. In the event that Stiles is transformed into a small furry animal, he is to be given into the custody of the Sheriff or Derek. Or Peter. Most importantly, Erica is banned from going near him (OH COME ON! YOU LOOKED INSANELY CUTE IN THE BATMAN COSTUME)

15. The Notebook is a great film and whoever keeps hiding the disc will stop immediately. OR ELSE. I think the or else was implied here Stiles…

16. Stiles is not to be given coffee

17. Stiles is not to be given extra Adderall

18.  Anyone who gives the Sheriff food not on the approved list will face the wrath of Stiles

19. Peter is not allowed to comment on how attractive he finds Melissa McCall

20. Peter is not allowed to comment on how attractive he finds Chris Argent

21. ~Peter is not allowed to comment on how attractive he finds Stiles Stilinski~ (Stiles objects to this rule)

22.  When throwing items at people, do not throw any of the books or Peter will eat you

23. No Stiles, having sex with a male werewolf won't get you pregnant. Even if it's an alpha. (That we know of)

24. No one is allowed to drive the Camaro except Derek

25. No one is allowed to eat in the Camaro

26.  Alison is not allowed to take her crossbow to school

27.  Alison is not allowed to take her knives to school

28.  Seriously Alison, stop taking weapons to school!

29. Stiles is not allowed to touch any of Alison's weapons

30.  If you bleed in the jeep, you are responsible for cleaning it

31. Do not enter the kitchen when Stiles is cooking. (This is for your own safety)

32. If you enter the kitchen while Stiles is cooking, do not attempt to steal food he is preparing. Werewolves cannot regrow fingers

33.  If Stiles declares someone is evil, he is probably right and should be taken seriously.

34.  If someone new starts working at the school, they are probably evil

35.  If Peter offers to kill someone for you, he is not joking and it is not okay (no matter how tempting it is)

36. Do not ask Derek about dating Cora

37.  Do not make dog jokes, especially to Derek, Stiles! (Not my fault he has no sense of humour)

38. ALWAYS CALL STILES FIRST IF YOU FIND A BODY

39. Stop asking where our eyebrows go when shifted

40. Stiles is not allowed a pet dragon

41. Stiles is not allowed a pet griffin

42. ~Stiles, stop trying to adopt baby mythical creatures~

43. Peter stop leaving dead animals on Stiles porch seriously dude, my dad thinks I've got a budding serial killer after me ~well, I wasn't technically wrong…~ minus the budding part

44. Stiles is not allowed to use his PowerPoint when telling people about werewolves (I don't care how many slide transitions you put in)

45.  No Stiles, giving your PowerPoint to Peter or Lydia to present is not a loophole (oh come on! I even put a bibliography at the end! it's not my fault you're technology adverse!)

46.  Derek is not allowed to lurk around abandoned buildings. It really doesn't help with the serial killer vibe you give off

47. If you kill someone, please make sure you chop them up or find another method to ensure they don't come back! We shouldn't kill people at all! I said IF! ~Stiles, please remember I'm an officer of the law~

47B. AMENDMENT TO THE PREVIOUS: If you kill someone, please make sure you chop them up or find another method to ensure they don't come back AND make sure you dispose of the body so that dad doesn't have to do extra paperwork

----------------

By request, here is a legend to tell who is writing what:

Stiles

Peter

Derek

Scott

~Sheriff~

Erica

Lydia

Isaac

Allison

Boyd

[distractedducky]

Ok, so I had an idea for a teen wolf fic I have neither the talent nor the time to write - so I’m putting it out into the world for those much more talented and motivated then me.

It’s kinda a 5+1 sounding idea about the fact that the wolves think stiles is weaker then he is. Not in a bad way, but in the way where they no longer know how to gage human strength and even though stiles looks like this

They forget that he is probably in better shape then almost any human around (not to mention in an fbi training programming).

So the basic idea is either stiles will be doing something that requires strength- like lifting bags of cement or fertilizer- moving/opening something- etc and a pack member will either come in and “help” him by assuming he was struggling. Or stiles pretends to struggle and then a pack member helps them only for when they leave for him to just effortlessly handle the rest.

I picture it either ending with stiles having to do something when the wolves are incapacitated- either funny like they lost their powers and stiles has to do a bunch of stuff they used to. Or serious like they are all in danger and stiles moves a thing previously thought to be too much for him.

Mostly I have this scene in my head of stiles moving into a new apt or something with someone from quantico and Derek or Scott won’t let him lift anything heavy . And while there doing that the other person who is human and knows stiles is strong just goes “ they do know you can bench press my body weight right” and stiles just grins.

Anyway, someone can do whatever with this. It can be any time line with any pack members, ships or no ships. Let it infect your brain like it has mine.

My only ask, is if this does inspire you to write something please tag me.

Have a great day

[pkrosche]

Teen Wolf Incorrect Text Posts 1/?

[azraphels]

Peter: When I was married, you know what often said to me?

Stiles: Please stop sleeping with other people?

Derek: were you married?!